Is it really good to have a slower-paced relationship? Often, it can be–provided things don’t drag on to the point of excess.
My friend, Ken Leatherman, sent me the basis for this article, and gave permission to edit it as I saw fit:
Slow-Paced Relationships–All People Have Their Own Pace
People all have their own unique pace. Some people always seem to be set on high all the time, others like the slow and steady route a little better. Having different rhythms is natural, but when it comes to relationships this condition can cause misunderstandings. If you find yourself involved with someone who likes Slow-paced relationships don’t assume it is because someone like that isn’t interested.
That is the biggest problem people run into, someone who is a little fast-paced may feel that his (or her) partner isn’t interested if the partners wants a slow-paced relationship. Once you get past your own insecurities, you may want to consider taking things a little slower. That isn’t a bad thing… as long as you both talk and are both on the same page.
One of the big problems that many couples have is that they move too fast anyway. When you are going at top speed it is easy to miss potential problems in the relationship, and it is easy to mistake temptation to lust (or just the desire for companionship) for love.
Slowing things down a little bit basically forces both of you to see the other person as he and people like him or her really are and not just how you want them to be. Again, another problem in relationships is that people often don’t see the things that are right in front of their face. The faster you are going, the harder it is to catch your breath and see things in your relationship clearly.
All in all, there is really no downside to going at a slower pace in your relationship but you both need to remember that the two of you need to determine just what each of you means by “taking things slowly”.
If one of you has one idea of what “slow” relates to and the other person has another idea it may lead to misunderstandings and hurt feelings.
Of course, this can happen in all aspects of your relationship, not just the speed at which you want it to move, that a perfectly innocent misunderstanding can cause a lot of trouble. The two of you really need to find a healthy way of communicating right from the very beginning of your relationship. If you can do that every aspect of your relationship will be easier if you can utilize skills like these to overcome your different levels of pacing.
If your partner wants to take things slow, don’t get upset or read too much into it. Peple like you should talk to your partners. Talk to them about what their expectations are and what they mean by slow. Make sure you both are on the same page and always keep the communication lines open.
Going at a slower pace will make it easier for you both to get to know each other. Getting to know each other, along with learning good communication skills, can allow you both to have a better relationship. Slow pace relationships are good, so don’t get worried if your partner wants to take things slow.