Do You Want to Know the Six Keys for Achieving Marital Bliss?
If You Fail or Underachieve in Any One of These Areas, Your Marriage Will Fail at Some Point.
Learn How Putting Six Amazing Keys into Practice Can Not Only Make Your Marriage Successful, But Doing So Can Cause You to Reach a State of Marital Bliss As Well!
From: The LOVING Way to a Successful Marriage
You are concerned about your marriage relationship. This is normal. Of course we want to get things right. However, things may have progressed further toward a troubled relationship than you first realized.
When you reach a great concern about your relationship, surely you want to salvage what you have already created.
At this point, it is normal to be confused. Where did things start to go wrong? Is this the time to apologize? How can I turn things around? Will I say the right things?
This is where Dr Randy Carney comes in. He has had over 30 years of experience in helping married couples. He will give you some immediate help in this website. You will be able to turn things around, and then you will be able to build upon that turn around.
As you keep reading, you will gain one simple technique that you can implement immediately, and then you will be introduced to six keys that will restore a marriage. Not only will you gain principles that will give you a successful marriage, you will also be on your way to obtaining a state of marital bliss.
In your confusion, part of what you are up against is the tendency to continue strategies that seem to be normal. The problem, though, is that many of those strategies never work.
Let’s Look at Four Strategies that Never Work
Yet the Natural Tendency Is Always to Try them
Which of the following strategies are you likely to be trying right now?
1. You try to convince your husband or wife that you have really changed.
It is natural to think that convincing your partner of change will take care of things. The problem is that you have made those kinds of statements before, and your mate is tired of hearing what he or she perceives to be empty promises. If you have identified places where you really do need to make changes in your life, you will have to give those who know you well time to be convinced of a change of lifestyle.
2. You continually say to your spouse that you love him or her.
That would have been fine when the marriage was going well, but now your spouse is likely to be numb to many of the words that you say. If you have a spouse who has nearly given up and is now ready to move on, he or she will even tire of you thinking that all you have to do is to say that you love him or her.
3. The third strategy is to try to get your spouse to change his or her ideas of the appropriateness of his or her actions.
You try to turn things around by trying to make your husband or wife feel guilty about the decision to leave you. The problem with this is that it can just generate one more fight between you.
Here is the secret technique that you can implement immediately to begin to change things between you and your husband or wife:
Agree with your spouse. What? Agree with my spouse? What if my spouse is wrong?
That’s right. Agree with your spouse every time it is possible to do so.
What if your spouse is wrong? That is the time to be quiet. Likely in the past, you tried to correct those wrong statements.
If it is just a matter of opinion that cannot be proved either way, you can secretly hold your opinion (but remember that you cannot prove that opinion), but verbally agree with your mate.
How can he argue with you when you are agreeing with him?
When your spouse talks about what she thinks you will do in the future, agree with her. (How can you do that when you think she is misjudging you? Actually, neither of you knows the future. You may have good intentions, but you may not follow your intentions, so you might as well agree with her.)
When your husband talks about what you have done in the past, agree with him. (If he got the facts wrong be careful about trying to correct them.) Agree with the fact that you can see why what you did made him feel the way he does.
See, agreeing with your spouse works.
He likes to have his opinion respected. She likes to know that you are listening to what she says.
How can he argue with you when you are saying the same thing he is saying?
When there is no contradiction on your part, and no heated defense of your position, how can she pick a fight with that?
It is not natural to agree with your spouse. You probably would rather use another technique. Maybe you want to try to make your mate feel obligated to love you because you are married. That may be true, but it doesn’t work for you to try to make your mate feel guilty with those types of words. He or she will feel manipulated, and that will cause further resentment upon his or her part.
If your mate is resisting being controlled by you (and maybe you were being too controlling in the past), she certainly won’t respond to you telling her that she has to do something. The same situation exists with the husband who is told that he is obligated to love his wife.
Your spouse feels that love and respect have to be earned. When your track record has not been good, telling him or her that he she has to love and respect you will only bring resentment. This tactic will never truly work.
If you have an attitude of whining or complaining, you will only increase you partner’s hostility. You mate is already tired, and he or she will certainly be tired of hearing your whining or complaining.
Along with whining and complaining, your husband or wife will certainly resist your trying to pressure him or her to do something. Those spouses are tired of being manipulated. It has taken a long time for them to make the decisions they have made. They gained strength in coming to that point. So, now, your pressuring won’t work as easily as it did in the past.
When you start agreeing with your spouse, you remove the props that hold up his (or her) hostility. Those spouses have rehearsed things in their minds. They are ready for an argument. When you agree with them, they are not prepared for that.
When you agree with your spouse, she (or he) may be disarmed because part of the problem as she sees it is that you do not listen
When you agree with spouse, you disarm him (or her) because he may be expecting you to whine, complain or pressure. You take away that fuel for the argument.
Part of the reason why the technique of agreeing with your spouse works is because it displays a new air of confidence on your part.
A display of confidence (even if you do not feel it) is good because displaying insecurity and a lack of self-esteem seldom work–and they never really work in the long run.
While we should not be haughty, and being prideful is not good either, we should display an air of God-given confidence. Dragging ourselves down to bring sympathy is not very attractive.
When you say to your spouse, “You are the only one! I can’t live without you!” you cast doubt on your judgment. It is like indicating that you have very little sense. It is like you saying there are no other beautiful women or attractive men on the planet. (When things are going well, it is O.K. to use such hyperboles (intended exaggerations), but when you trying to win back your mate, this is likely not to have a positive effect.)
4. The fourth strategy you might be tempted to try to use is displaying pessimism.
Sometimes the technique of displaying pessimism seems to work for people is because others feel sorry for them. It should be noted that this does not really work in the long run, but in the short run it seems to get desired results. The problem is that you are way beyond this point. Your spouse is fed up with trying to help you overcome your pessimism.
Sometimes the technique seems to work so well in temporary situations that people almost become addicted to using it. While this drags on, it wears upon the spouse. It pulls him down. She becomes weary herself. He is dragged into pessimism and does not like it. Neither does a wife when she is pulled in such a direction
Sometimes a husband will pessimistically say, “My wife will never change.” But, is that true? Certainly it is not because your wife has already changed. She no longer wants to be around you. A wife may say the same thing about her husband, but it is not true. He has changed. He wants out.
People sometimes fall in love with pessimism even though it is one of the four strategies that never work.
What can you do?
Now Let’s Look at Three Stategies You Can Start Using Right Now to Turn Things Around
If your problem in the past has been an increasing tendency to argue, resisting your spouse at this point is likely just to lead to more arguments.
Your spouse is tired of things. She experiences relief by “Out of sight. Out of mind!” situations. If you resist her now, she will just want to flee further into that area of escape.
Quit creating problems by bringing up new reasons for further problems. How can you do that? You can use the other person’s force of momentum against them, (This is not meant to be a means of learning how to win a fight. It is a technique of bringing restoration.) This is sort of the “push-pull” technique. Up until now, you have probably been engaged in the “push-push” technique. One of you pushes the other, and the other pushes back.
How does the “use her (or his) momentum” technique work in your favor? When she pushes in a certain direction, instead of pushing back, you pull her forward. Likewise, when your husaband who wants to leave pushes in a certain direction, you do not resist. You disarm him by agreeing with him. You pull him in his direction (even if it is not the direction you want to go–and you do not want things to go that way forever; but now you are trying to disarm him. You want to diffuse the situation.)
This technique disarms your spouse. It gives him nothing further to argue about. It does not give her that opportunity to use her new skills of tearing you down.
We have all heard of the technique of using negative psychology.
Sometimes parents try it on their children.
They tell them not to do something (that the parent really wants done.) Then the child does it. (This, incidentally, may not be a good child-rearing technique since it fosters disobedience in children. Still, it often works.)
When you are agreeing with your spouse, you may be saying that you want him to do something that you really don’t want to happen.
You are only doing this to disarm her, to diffuse the situation, to give her breathing room because she is not thinking clearly at the moment. (Likely, neither are you thinking clealy either.) This technique cuts down the arguments and gives both of you time to return to clearer thinking.
So, go with your spouse’s momentum. Go with his or her direction of thought.
Now, here are the three ways you can carry out this “push-pull” technique:
1. Stop trying to pressure your spouse.
The flames have already risen high enough. If you pressure, they will only rise higher.
The pot is already boiing. Adding more pressure is not going to help.
2. Where possible, agree with anything your spouse says or does.
Sometimes, when people are not thinking clearly, they focus on negative feelings that they put into thier own minds. It is almost like they fall in love with their negative feelings. When you contradict those negative feelings, which they are holding on to very tightly, you are telling them they are wrong. They then cling more tightly to those negative feelings. It is like those feelings are in control, and they shut the door to the person’s heart even tighter.
Agreeing with your spouse gives him (her) the opportunity to consider other things you say without her (him) fleeing to the (false) security of her (his) negative feelings.
When you do not defend yourself, you remove the adversarial stance that both of you can get into.
When you agree with your spouse, you, in effect, pull him or her in your direction, without them realizing that their momentum is being unleashed to go in your direction.
You may not be able to agree with something that is clearly incorrect; however, in the past, you would feel compelled to correct the incorrect statement. Then your spouse became defensive, and the points for another argument were set up.
So, agreeing with your spouse everytime it is possible to do so clearly has its advantages.
3. Come across as confident and content.
Now, inside, your heart may be breaking, but you do not want to come across as trying to be manipulative by making him or her feel guilty by acting like you cannot live without your mate.
Accept the way things are. This is the truth for the moment. You might be able to change things in the future.
You hope for a different future, but if things never change, you are going to learn to live in the present.
While working on the marriage would have helped earlier, you have now reached the point where doing that only increases tension. Small talk, where you appear to accept what is going on. will work better at helping you to appear confident and content.
When you do this, when you pull away, your spouse may be drawn in your direction. When you push or become agressive, your spouse wants to resist, to push back.
When you appear desperate, you give your spouse an exhilarating sense of power. Those apouses enjoy that feeling of power, but then they abuse that new-found sense of power. You diffuse this when you do not appear desperate.
You may really have changed, but saying that you have changed will be greeted with skepticim. She has heard that before.
He has heard you make tearful promises in the past, but he sees through those false tears now (even if they really are not false at the moment).
You see when you say you have changed, you are almost saying that your spouse is obligated to take you back. That is your way. Your spouse feels controlled and becomes even more resistent.
You do want to change. That’s what the Six keys to Marital Bliss will help you to do while you are working through this time of “walking on hot coals” as to how you come across to your mate who wants to call it quits. It is better that you show that you have changed than to say that you have changed.
Subconsciously, your waife says, “He hasn’t really changed. He’s still the same manipulative, pressuring, controlling person that he has always been!”
Again, agreeing with your spouse gets rid of that resistance.
Agreeing that you have not changed stops things where they are at the moment. However, showing that you have changed will have an effect.
Don’t let your desire for change in your own life be because of desperation.
Let change in your own life reflect your confidence, and the presentation that you know that you can make it even if things fall apart. Confidence (not haughtiness) is more attractive than sniveling.
These Same Simple Techniques Can Work for You
These techniques can help you get things back together, but to have lasting change, you do need to learn more keys that will help you to unlock not only a restored marriage but one that approaches a state of marital bliss.
Begin with the “agreing techniques,” the “push-pull techniques,” but continue with the six sets of principles that are essential for sucusseful and happy marriages.
Would You Like To Have A Successful Marriage that Reaches a State of Marital Bliss? If You Ignore Critical Areas of Your Relationship, You Do So at Your Own Peril. Learn How Balancing Your Life in Six Basic Areas Can Make Your Marriage Soar to New Heights!
The Six Keys to Marital Bliss Refer to Balance in Six Different Areas of Marriage.
The LOVING Way to a Successful Marriage Does Indeed Give You Six Keys to Marital Bliss.
What Are the Benefits to Using The Loving Way to a
Successful Marriage: Six Keys to Marital Bliss?
Here Are Some of the Highlights Available for Immediate Download:
You Will Be Able to Cope with Your Differences When the “New” Wears Off
By Successfully Implementing One Simple Principle, You Will Improve Your Relationship with Your Spouse, Your Parents, and Your In-Laws
- You Will Discover the Surprising Goal for Raising Children
- You Will Develop the Art of Good Compromise
- You Will Learn How to Survive and Improve a Spiritually-Mismatched Marriage
- You Can Learn to Get Along Better with Everyone When You Discover How Your Spouse’s SHAPE Affects Both of You
- You Will Recongnize and Combat Society’s Thought Patterns That Are Out to Destroy Your Marriage
- Your Communication Will Improve as You Learn How Men and Women Think Differently
- You Will Find Benefits in Leading, Following, Submitting, and Delegating
- You Will Learn How to Achieve Spiritual and Physical Intimacy
- You Will See How the Principle of Giving Benefits Any Relationship
- And So Much More!
Here’s How I Can Help You
Save Your Relationship Starting Right Now
The revolutionary new book, The LOVING Way to a Successful Marriage: Six Keys to Marital Bliss, will give you the ongoing principles you need to improve your marriage after you indeed get back together
This can work even if you (in the beginning) are the only one who wants to restore your marriage.
Follow the principles of this letter to begin rebuilding your relationship.
Follow the principles of the book to begin improving your way of “doing marriage” as you embark on your program of self-improvement while you are waiting to get back together.
Once you are back together, keep reading and implementing the principles in the book.
I am not a licensed therapist, but I do have years of experience of dealing with married couples. Through the years, many have come to my wife and me for help in their marriages.
My doctorate is a D.Min. not that of a medical doctor, psychiatirst or psychologist. However, the timeless principles of the Bible work time and time again in a variety of situations. The principles of this book, while completely consistent with Christian principles, go way beyond that of being a series of Sunday school lessons (although they could be apropriate for that too). Many will recognize them as being non-optional keys to success in marriage regardles of a person’s religious background.
Thousands of people have read my articles on the internet. Others have benefited from marriage seminars that present these principles.
You can begin the process of restoring your marriage right now
It is time to take action now.
You need to take the next step. Start with what you learned on this page.
You do not need just wishful thinking. No, you need to take constructive action.
If you do nothing, things are not likely to turn around. At least if you do something, something will at least happen. The problem is that your doing something can be either helpful or harmful.
Most natural actions push people away. Use what you have learned in this letter and what you will learn in this book to turn things around.
The LOVING Way to a Successful Marriage: Six Keys to Marital Bliss will give you the specific step-by-step strategies you need to save your relationship. You will want to make real changes in your life when you wait to get back together. You can learn what changes to make as you improve yourself while taking the actions described in this letter.
You can download the ebook right now for only $27.97 $19.99 (Special for a limited time only!).
Here’s How You Can Get Started Saving Your Marriage
Within the Next 15 Minutes!
When you click on the button below, you will be taken to an order page where you can securely sign up to recieve your 200 page ebook. You order information will be confidential with only the processing company and your credit or debit card company having access to the details of your order.
Your order will be processed immediately, and you will be sent to a page that will tell you how to download your ebook right away.
This whole process will take only a few minutes, and you will be reading your ebook in less than 15 minutes from now.
When you get the ebook, scan over it a few times, getting the big picture. Dip into some needed sections right away–especially those parts that just “jump out at you.” Then go back and read it through from the beginning to the end.
Try some of the ideas in this letter and in the book for a few weeks. You will notice differences in your relationship right away. Those changes will encourage you to take further steps. Many people benefit by taking a week at a time to begin working on one of the six keys to marital bliss during that week. Of course, as you continue on, don’t quit using the techniques you learned in the previous weeks. Some will read through the book quickly and then go back and systematically implement what they learn.
However you go about it, you will use this book as a constant reference as you go about restoring and improving your marriage.
You Don’t Even Have to Fully Decide About Your Purchase Now.
You Can Read The LOVING Way to a Successful Marriage:
Six Keys to Marital Bliss Risk Free
With a 100% Money–back Guarantee
See? I know that if you knew for sure that this resource would help you improve your marriage, that you would want it. That’s why I want to give you the opportunity to read the book before you decide to keep it.
The LOVING Way to a Successful Marriage: Six Keys to Marital Bliss has a 100% money-back guarantee. Read the book from cover to cover and apply the strategies in the book risk free for the next 56 days. If you don’t find the information and strategies to be helpful, let us know, and we will refund your money–and you can keep the ebook.
Just click on the button below to purchese the book safely with the secure order form.
Right now, you can get the ebook for $19.97 !
For a Limited Time Only
Get Your Copy for Only $19.97 (plus tax if applicable in your area)!
That’s Over 25% off of the Regular Price of $27.97!
Hurry to get your copy today, as the regular price could return at any time.
Click the Buy Now Button to Get Your Copy
I can help you, but you will have to take the first step.
I do look forward to hearing from you soon.
Randy Carney, B.S., M.Div., D.Min.
P.S. How many of the strategies in The LOVING Way to a Successful Marriage will work for you?
I can’t honestly say, because I don’t know with what diligence you will try to implement them.
However, I can say that marriages are being changed by using these principles.
Recently, a marriage half-way around the world was gloriousy restored when the husband and wife
read together about the six keys to marital bliss. (Of course, they didn’t just read them. They also began to practice them.)
Let’s say you didn’t buy this ebook. What would happen then?
Likely you would keep traveling down the same path, or you would keep trying techniques that seem naterual, but are not really very productive.
Would you be disappointed with yourself forever because you did not try everything possible to restore, improve, and/or enrich your marriage?
When you can get much great information that would benefit you greatly, and for less than the price of eating out one time, wouldn’t you be disappointed to know that the restoration and enrichment of your marriage was so close, and you passed it up?
You see? I can’t make the decision for you.
That action is completely up to you.
I really do wish you well in the restoration, improvement or enrichment of your marriage!