Books Available at Morthland College

You can invest in The LOVING Way to a Successful Marriage: Six Keys to Marital Bliss at Morthland College. Remember that you will also get a “two for one” coupon that will enable you to enroll in the Community Education Class, Making Your Marriage Sizzle–God’s Way! and bring one other person at no extra charge. Go by the administrative offices at 210 West Main St. in West Frankfort, IL, and pick up your copy today.

Tweak a Great Marriage to Make it Even Better

This is a great fun class for married couples who want to tweak their marriages and make them even better. That is the target audience, but you will notice in the comments on the website that some with serious marital issues have taken the principles that are presented in the above mentioned book and course and have restored their failing marriages.

Making Your Marriage Sizzle – God’s Way!

What Do ABC’s Secret Millionaire

And Morthland College

Have in Common?

ABC's Secret Millionaire Holding Randy's Book

Morthland College Crest

















James Malinchak, featured on ABC’s Secret ……………………………Morthland College
****Millionaire, holding Randy’s Book                                         Southern Illinois’ Newest College


Answer: They Both Endorse Dr. Randy Carney’s Marriage Seminars!


Morthland College is offering the Community Education Course, Making Your Marriage Sizzle—God’s Way! Thursday Evenings, Oct 27, Nov 3, 10, 17, Dec 1, 8 (No Classes Thanksgiving week)

For more information and to enroll, please call the school office at 618-937-2127
or send an email to

Two for One SpecialGet a coupon that allows you to bring your husband or wife at no additional tuition charge. Buy The Loving Way to a Successful Marriage at the Handfuls on Purpose Christian Bookstore (or at the college) and Receive a coupon to attend the Morthland community education class on marriage for $60.00 per couple instead of $120 per couple at the standard tuition rate.

Here is Morthland’s Description of Community Education:

Community Education Courses provide an opportunity for the community to learn on a variety of topics. Most of the instructors come from our faculty, local ministers, or community educators. Each instructor has committed to Morthland College’s founding principles: Tradition, Heritage, Wisdom, and Christ. Classes will meet at the Administration Offices at 210 E. Main Street, West Frankfort, Illinois.

All Fall 2011 courses cost $60.00 per person and can be payable by cash, check or credit card. Scholarships are available to senior adults (65+): Seniors may either receive ONE FREE Community Education Course per semester, or HALF OFF for every course per semester. To register, please call 618-937-2127, or click here to register online.

Morthland College is an authorized provider of Continuing Professional Development Units. Community Education Courses approved for CPDUs are marked with the asterisk (*).

Thursday Evenings, Oct 27, Nov 3, 10, 17, Dec 1, 8 (No Classes Thanksgiving week)

REL C110 –Making Your Marriage Sizzle – God’s Way!, R Carney, DMin (6:30-7:30 PM)

The LOVING Way to a Successful Marriage: Six Keys to Marital Bliss is suitable for marriages in various stages – anywhere from Newlyweds to Marriage Veterans. In this course, you will discover how to: Improve your relationship with your spouse, children and in-laws; turn your negative differences into positive connections; improve your communication skills; delight yourself with physical and spiritual intimacy; discover and meet each other’s greatest needs; and see that a seeming contradiction can benefit you many times over.

Here is what James Malinchak has to say about Randy’s book and his marriage seminars:

“The information on personality and how men and women think in The LOVING Way to a Successful Marriage: Six Keys to Marital Bliss is worth the investment in the book many times over.”
–James Malinchak, Featured on ABC’s Hit TV Show, “Secret Millionaire”

It would be great if we could spend these six evenings together. Even though we might talk about some “heavy” topics, we have a lot of fun during these sessions.

Don’t Just Be In the Marriage Game. Go for the Championship!

The Balanced Cans Represent the Need for Balance across Six Crucial Areas of Marriage.

The Balanced Cans and the Need for Balance in Marriage

We had a great time at the recent marriage seminar at Thompsonville First Baptist Church in Thompsonville, Illinois.

One the things we stressed is that there is a need to be at least somewhat successful in each of six crucial areas of marriage.

In fact, the more you can be balanced across all of those areas, the greater degree of success you are likely to have in your marriage.



Pastor John Robinson

Pastor John Robinson Was a Great Host

Pastor John Robinson did a great job of hosting the event. He did more than double duty with many of the tasks he performed.

Also, Tracy Clem served us well by implementing some of the technical aspects of sound and PowerPoint.

Bro. John even did much of the preparation for the delicious meal that the couples enjoyed before getting into the actual content of the meeting.



Holding my trusty back pack, I was going to convert Rhonda to a love of camping

Holding His Trusty Back Pack, Randy Was on a Mission to Convert Rhonda to a Love of Camping!

Randy told his infamous story about a hilarious camping trip that he took his family on, in which his mission was to convert his wife to a love of camping.

Many parallels can be drawn to requirements for a successful marriage from the joys and perils of camping trips.

In fact, each of the six keys to marital bliss find their presentation in an analogy to different aspects of the camping experience.

Men, what do you and Michael Jordan have in common?

Moving Into Some More Light-Hearted Moments, Randy Asked, "Men, What Do You and Michael Jordan Have in Common?"

Here is our free-throw shooter from the audience.

Here Is Our Free-Throw Shooter from the Audience




Rhonda, the captain of our cheer-leading team lead us all in a rousing cheer.

Rhonda, Our Cheerleader Captain, Led Us All in a Rousing Cheer


Watch out! No one knew when the ball would be thrown to them.

Watch Out! No One in the Audience Knew When the Ball Would Be Thrown to Them, But It Sure Did Help Keep Them on Their Toes!

.He played the part of the backboard.

His Wife Looked on with Admiration and Fear as He Played the Part of the Backboard. (He was allowed to catch the ball, though, if it came toward his face!).


Yea! He Made the Free Throw.

Yea! He Made the Free Throw.









Randy and Rhonda Waiting to Go on Stage Again

Randy and Rhonda, Waiting to Go on Stage Again for the Closing Session

Aside from the men finding out what they and Michael Jordan had in common, the ladies found out that they had that trait also.

We had a couple of practical breakout sessions with some serious moments too, but for much of the evening, we could have our light-hearted moments–even as we looked at some serious topics.

We would love to have you come and join us at an event like this when we are in your area.


A Great Time!

We had a wonderful time at the marriage and couples’ relationship seminar at Thompsonville First Baptist Church last weekend.

Randy and Rhonda Carney Will be Speaking at the Marriage Seminar at Thompsonville First Baptist Church

Randy and Rhonda Carney

Pastor John Robinson did a wonderful job of being our host for the evening, and Tracy Clem helped with the sound, PowerPoint and other technical details. We also appreciate Rusty Carney being our photographer, and we hope to post some of those pictures here soon.

How did it go? Well, Rhonda and I had a good time, and that is always a good sign.

Here are comments made about the event:

“This was a great program! I loved the scale for the 10 items important in a marriage. I am excited to meet the needs with my husband. Thanks for showing us a great relationship.”

“I like how easy and relaxed the session was and no pressure.”

“Enjoyed it very much. Appreciate the example of the Carney marriage.”

“Men’s breakout session was excellent. Questions and discussion in breakout sessions could be interesting.”


When asked about the best ideas the participants received and planned to use, we were told the following:

“Do what you need to do in your marriage for God.”

“Taking more initiative to go out of my way to meet more of his need and be more thoughtful and complimenary.”

“Tips on how to meed the need for affection.”

“The Energizing Cycle!”

“Don’t ‘stonewall.'”

“Breakout session”

“To encourage my husband daily.”

“Act and react motivation”

So, you can see that we had a good time. We are looking at combining events like these with our fundraising option. (We will put up a page about that on this website soon.)

If you would like to book Randy for your event (any area), click on “Request Randy” above. If you would like to have both of us (mostly local area only), mention that in the comment box when you go to the request page.

Marriage Seminar in Two Days!

Randy and Rhonda Carney Will be Speaking at the Marriage Seminar at Thompsonville First Baptist Church

Randy and Rhonda Carney

Rhonda and I have the great privilege of putting on a marriage-enrichment seminar (engaged couples are welcome too 🙂 ) at the First Baptist Church of Thompsonville, Illinois.

Rhonda is actually speaking twice that day. During the noon hour, she will be speaking to a group of ladies at Rescue Free Will Baptist Church in Ewing, IL. She was asked to speak about what it is like to be parents of missionaries. Our son, Rusty, his wife, Brenda, and our four-year-old granddaughter, Grace, are missionaries in Hokkaido, Japan. They are home here in the States for a few months. For my part, the distance is sometimes hard, but we would rather have them in the will of God than to be physically close and not in His will.

Then, in the middle of the afternoon, we are going to a celebration of years of ministry for our good friends, Jerry and Emma Herring. You could sort of say that Jerry is retiring, although he is still pastoring a church in Cypress, IL.

Then at 6:00 that evening, we go to the Marriage seminar. We begin with a meal. Then we have a general session where I am the keynote speaker. Following a short break, we go into breakout sessions. I am with the husbands for that, and Rhonda is with the wives. Following another short break, we will have the closing general session with both Rhonda and me.

We are looking to a fun evening with a lot of light-hearted moments as we deal with a sometimes heavy subject. Some of the things we will be discussing are:

  • Don’t Just Be In the Marriage Game — Go for the Championship!
  • Men, What Do You and Michael Jordan Have in Common?
  • How to Break the “Crazy Cycle”
  • Leadership Lessons Learned from Jesus
  • Two of Your Husband’s Greatest Needs
  • How to Get Your Husband to Talk to You
  • How to Help Your Wife Feel Your Love

Some attended this seminar last year, and at that time, I gave an overview of the six keys to marital bliss. There is so much in that book, that less than ten percent of the material we cover this time will be a repeat of last year’s content.

We are looking forward to the evening very much, and we pray that everyone will come away with several, but at least one, good idea(s) that will benefit his or her marriage in a great way.

The church has informed me that they will be able to continue accepting new registrations today and tomorrow, so here is a link for information about it:

Marriage Seminar

Rhonda and I are putting the finishing touches on the Couples’ Enrichment and Relationship seminar to be held at Thompsonville First Baptist Church in Thompsonville, IL.

The event is scheduled for Saturday, April 30. It begins with a meal at 6:00 p.m. Then I will give the keynote address, “Don’t Just Be In the Marriage Game, Go for the Championship!”

Following that will be a breakout session. The men will go to my session, and the ladies will go to Rhonda’s session. We will be covering things like, “How to Break the Crazy Cycle,” “How to Get Your Husband to Talk to You,” “Husbands’ Secret Habits for a Great Marriage” among other things.

Then there will be a short closing session. We will have two breaks during the meeting, and we will probably be through before 8:45 (maybe even as early as 8:30, depending on how our transitions go).

If you live in the southern Illinois area, check out the following link:

We do plan for this to be a fun evening.

Some of you are already registered, and we look forward to seeing you then.

Advice On Unrequited Love – Stop Shooting Yourself Down

Want Advice On Unrequited Love? – Then Stop


Yourself Down!

If someone doesn’t love you back, you have two options: One is to win back his or her love. The other is to accept what you don’t seem to be able to change. If you are married, and the situation does not involve infidelity, abuse or abandonement, the first option is what you will major on.

Of course, if the situation does involve infidelity, abuse or abandonment, then you may have an option (though not required) to split up on a more or less permanent basis.

I’m not really sure that there is anything worse than loving someone who does not love you. It can be torture to have such strong emotions and not have them returned. No one can make it all go away, but there here is a little advice on unrequited love that may make things a little easier.

It may sound like a cliche, but it is true: It’s not you it’s your spouse.  The fact of the matter is that many people end a relationship too quickly and than later regret it. The person who left you may very well one day realize that that was the biggest mistake of his or her life. You might very well be the one that got away, and people in situations just like yours  may always regret it.

Don’t assume that your partner left because he or she didn’t love you, it could have been that he or she didn’t realize he (she) loved you or even that your spouse was afraid of the love he or she felt for you.

I know this does little to ease your hurt but at least your pride can be a little less injured with this knowledge.

Sometimes it is just not the right time. Sometimes you meet someone, and one or the other of you is on the rebound or just not looking for love. Neither of you may realize it right away and when one of you does figure it out and leave it can leave the other person feeling blindsided.

Sometimes we sabotage ourselves. We ignore obvious signs that the other person just isn’t that into us. We pretend they are interested when we know in our heart that they are not. Make sure you are completely honest with yourself about the situation which is good  advice on unrequited love.

You also need to make sure that you are not sabotaging your relationships in other ways. Many people who don’t feel good about themselves have a hard time believing that they are worthy of love. If they feel that way, they often push love away without even realizing it. Make sure that is not what you are doing.

Try to honestly figure out what it is that you are doing that is causing you to love the wrong people or to push love away when you have it.  You may be surprised to find that love really is within your grasp you just have to learn to let it happen in it’s own time and not try to force it.

If any one of these scenarios is the reason they left you it is possible that someday the two of you will come back together. But, do not wait for that day to come. Instead live your life and trust that if it was meant to be, it will be. That is the single hardest thing to do, but it is good advice.

This advice on unrequited love may help you sort things out and find the solution to your relationship issues. It is not always easy to face up to your flaws and make changes, but it can be done. Don’t give up, realize that you are someone who is worthy of love and

10 Ways To Get Your Ex Boyfriend (or Husband) Back And Keep Him

Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back

This Works for Getting Your Husband Back Too!

This title may seem a little strange for a website that is primarily about marriage; however, sometimes married couples get estranged from each other for a period of time.

So, when that happens, it is important that they get their relationships restored. Many of the principles for doing that are the same for former spouses or for former boyfriends or girlfriends.

If you are hurting because you want to get your boyfriend back, there is help out there to find 10 ways to get you ex boyfriend back and keep him. These same principles work for getting your ex husband back too.

1. Apologize

If your relationship ended because of some stupid misunderstanding there is a chance he still has feelings for you. If one or both of you needs to apologize then all you have to do to get the ball rolling is to be the bigger person and make that first apology.

2. Utilize Available Technology

Another way to get him back is to use the technology we have available to us today. If you do not feel like calling him or are too embarrassed, then email or text him. Set up a place to meet and have lunch or coffee and just talk. Do not start by getting all into what went wrong within your relationship, just talk and keep things friendly.

3. Improve Yourself

Number three on the list of 10 ways to get your ex boyfriend (or ex husband) back and keep him is to try to improve yourself in some way. Once he sees that you have made the changes that need to be made then you may inspire him to do the same and he may even ask for tips on how you are making the changes you are making. If he does ask, then you will have more things to talk about, and maybe can find new similar interests, too.

4. Figure Out What Went Wrong

When wanting to get back with an ex, it can be very helpful to consider what went wrong and who messed up. No, this isn’t about laying blame just for the sake of laying blame, it’s about finding the solutions to the problems that led to the break up of your relationship.

5. Get Good Information to Help You Further

Once you have done that, the rest can fall into place pretty easily. Those of you who are married and looking to improve your marriage, consider six amazing keys to marital bliss as presented in The LOVING Way to a Successful Marriage. If you are not married, but are hopeful that the one you reconcile with will be your future mate, these keys can help you too.

6. Work on Joint Projects

No matter who was at fault, more than likely you both made some mistakes and can benefit from making some changes. This is the best way to start. It can allow you to not ony get back with your ex, but you will both have a much better chance of making things work if you do reconcile.

7. Spend Time Doing Things You Like to Do

It’s also important for you to spend time doing the things you like to do.

8. Each of You Spend Time with People You Enjoy

Spend time with the people you enjoy spending time with. All of this wll allow you some breathing room and time to deal with your own issues.  It will also make the time seem to go a little faster while you are making changes.

9. Talk to Each Other

Once you’ve worked things out you should talk to your ex. There are a lot of ways you can do that and here are the top 10:
instant message
phone call
mutual friends
ad in the paper
and last but never least, the ever popular, skywriting.

It doesn’t matter what method you use, if you follow these 9 ways to get your ex boyfriend back and keep him and do everything you can do to ensure your relationship will be strong this time around, he will most likely be happy to get back together with you.

Here is one more thing you will want to do:

10. Keep Tweaking the Good Things in Your Relationship

People who have relationships that “sparke” always look for good ideas. Those come from resources that talk about successful relationships and marriages, from resources that talk about restoring relationships, and from resources that talk about building each other up.

When it comes to betting back with your ex, I don’t really know if you will get all the information you need to help you on this website, although there is a lot of help here, but I might be able to introduce you to a friend who will be able to help you.

For more ideas of how to get back with your spouse,

Click Here

Get Your Marriage Back – 7 Temendously Simple Steps for Getting Started

“Get your marriage back?” Does that seem to be easier said than done? Of course it does, and this is especially true if your husband or wife has just left you. 

You may have come here after reading an article on using or after reading that article as it has been reprinted, with permission, at other sites.

Get Back Together

Get Back Together and Things Will Be Great!

Here is an expanded version of that article with helpful links to similar resources on this topic.  While you are here, look at other helpful articles (blog posts), resources, and webpages that can help you attack problems in your marriage.  Reading about these things can also help you prevent problems before they come up

Get your marriage back, starting today. is that really possible? It is. Here’s how to get started restoring your marriage in 7 easy steps.

Before we get started, though, let’s talk some about experience.  Some say that experience is the best teacher.  It certainly is an effective teacher, but it can be a very painful teacher too.  You can learn from your own experience, and that will help you in the future; however, how much better it would be to learn from other people’s experiences.  Then you would gain some valuable information without having to go through your own pain.
I have learned from my own experience.  I have also learned much valuable information from reading about the experiences of others.  I have been able to help others by passing along what I have read or heard.  Some of my best help has come about by introducing people who are going through a certain problem to others who have gone through a similar problem and have come out successful on the other side.
My desire in helping others is to give them content that is based on good research, based on my own personal experiences, based on the experiences of others, and is based on timeless truths
What are some great steps for getting your marriage back?  Here are some of them.
Step 1. Be strong and refrain from acting like you are falling apart.
You see, when your partner finally summons up the courage to leave you, he or she gets a newfound sense of power.  If you act like you will just fall apart if your spouse does not come back to you, you will just fuel that feeling of power.  So, though you may be dying inside, don’t act like you will fall apart unless your estranged spouse comes back to you
Step 2. Give your spouse some space and time to think.
Even though your mate feels empowered by leaving you, you have to understand that he or she is not thinking clearly too.  He or she probably really does need some time to think because in that thinking time, your partner will have a chance to realize some mistakes he or she has made. Also, it will take some time for him or her to realize some of the negative consequences of this action.
Here is the secret to avoiding an argument.  It is one that you will especially need to use during this time.  It is not necessarily one you will use forever, but it will serve you well as you are trying to get your spouse back.
That simple secret is to agree with your spouse.  You should actually consider what he or she has to say, and when he or she is right, certainly agree with him or her.
What if it cannot be proven that he or she is right?  Consider this.  When you deal with matters of opinion that cannot be proved one way or the other, you will do well to agree with your mate’s opinion (even though your opinion might be different).
What about when your former lover is “just plain wrong”?  Then, do your best to just “hold your tongue.”
How can an argument get started if you agree?
After using this technique temporarily, you will find ways that you can disagree agreeably in the future, but you probably will want to continue on with this technique when you deal with many future occasions.
Step 4. Make necessary changes in your own life.
Your main desire is to get your marriage back. If you want that to happen, you will have to make some necessary changes in your own life.
Even if you do not get your husband or wife back, you will have to go on with life. In either case, you will have to develop a “new you” in the midst of this difficult situation. There are several keys to marital bliss, and you want to reinvent yourself in such a way that you contribute to those keys. (Those keys are related in my book, The LOVING Way to a Successful Marriage: Six keys to Marital Bliss. You can get a free six-session mini-course based on that book right here.)
Six Keys to Marital Bliss

The LOVING Way to a Successful Marriage: Six Keys to Marital Bliss

Step 5. Apologize for what you did wrong.
You want to formulate this apology carefully.  You do not want it to be a fake apology, so clearly identify what it is, and what it is not, that you are apologizing for.  Then make the apology, but don’t apologize over and over and over again. Remember step one.
Step 6. Ask for another chance.
At the appropriate time, ask for another chance.  That appropriate time will be after you have given your mate some space and after you have shown how you are improving your own life.
Step 7.  After you get back together, keep improving your marriage.
Don’t let what you learned during this process be for nothing.  If it appears that it was all just fake, and for the process of dragging your mate back into the old situation, this success will not last long.  Build on the positive changes you have made.  Make your new experience of marriage a priority, and things will be better than ever.

I conduct marriage seminars across the country, and I have discovered that two types of people attend those seminars. The first type includes those whose marriages are in desparate situations. The second type, however, includes those who have great marriages. Why do they attend? It is because they consider their marriages to be one of the highest priorities in their lives. They realize that they have not “arrived yet.”  They are open to constantly learning new things to improve their marriages.

When you get your marriage back, you want to be like that second group and keep on improving your marriage.

One of the ways to do that is to learn how to balance your marriage across six key areas of marital life.  Again, check out The LOVING Way to a Successful Marriage: Six Keys to Marital Bliss.

Relationship Psychology Basics – How They Affect Your Marriage

Many things affect a marriage. For instance, we spend a lot of time trying to learn how to understand our spouses. In

Wedding - Young Married Couple

Relationship Psychology Basics Affect Young Married Couples

 so doing, we find that many psychological issues affect our communication attempts in marriage. Relationship psychology basics can help us comprehend many things. Relationships can take quite different turns. Actually, relationships are peculiar things. One day a relationship will be tremendous, but the next day or just a short time later, it may be horrendously hard for the couple to get along. So, a major thing we want to do in marriage is to learn how to communicate with each other, and many psychological factors affect that. In this article, we will examine how relationship psychology basics affect you and your marriage.

If you don’t understand relationship psychology basics, you may soon find yourself in need of a relationship rescue plan.

What is worse than that, you may find it very difficult to identify the things that trigger good times or bad times. Because of this, you find it almost impossible to predict what will happen in your relationship. These complex realities are the only explanations for how a couple can be madly in love one day, and then they are ready to file for divorce the next?

You see? It all seems to depend upon psychology.

Does that view mean that a psychologist can restore any relationship?

Hardly, but some interesting things to consider do exist. One of my friends who is not a psychologists by trade has had excellent success at helping many people get back together. Even though hid did not have formal psychological training, he does have an excellent understanding of relationship psycology basics. Maybe having some insights into how men and women think will help you maintain your present relationship, and maybe that will also help you to make your current relationship much, much stronger.

The National Institute of Mental Health commissioned a study that found that the majority of young couples (18 to 21 years of age) avoided being overly intimate–in the deepest sense of the word–with one another. The study found that these young people tried to remain as independent as they possibly could in the early years of their relationships.

Even though this was true, the results also showed strong evidence that they worried about being abandoned or rejected. While that was generally true, those with higher self-esteem indicated that they didn’t worry as much as the others.

In addition to those findings about younger people, older couples did not show as much of a tendency for this type of behavior. Probably this is because they have had more life experiences, and, really, they do not worry as much as younger people do about what others think of them.

They just don’t worry as much about breaking up.
Interestingly, this attitude actually makes it less likely that they will break up.

Of course, breakups can happen at any age, not just to young people.

Researchers also record that there are differences between men and women when it comes to conversing. Women sometimes steer the conversation in certain directions, whereas men tend to react to things as they come.

You can easily see how that would cause conflict.

These differences in communication often mean that what you meant to say might not be what the other person perceives you as meaning. Understanding some of these differences can help you when you try to converse with your spouse.

These are a few of the psychological explanations for how relationships develop, but there are many more. Studying the effects of differences between men an women can be fascinating, but just making such a study is not enough to keep the marriage going well. What a good marriage really needs is work and commitment.

If you think that things could be better in your relationship, keep these relationship psychology basics in mind. This information give you a good start to restoring or enriching your relationship. Some professional counselors can help you understand the psychology of relationships, but you can do much research on your own too.

Get all the information you can about relationship psychology basics, and then use that information to your best advantage.

(Copyright 2010 by Dr. Randy Carney) You may reprint this blog post if you print it in full, leave all links and the resource box intact, and give credit to the author.