Good Decision-Making: A Must for Successful Marriages

Many of you who have read my book, The LOVING Way to a Successful Marriage, know that one of the keys to marital bliss is to have a commitment to “overcome.” You have many things to overcome in a marriage. Part of what you have to overcome is difficult communication, and part of that difficulty has to do with the fact that men and women think differently.

I don’t just mean that they have different opinions. The thought processes are actually different.

Bill and Pam Farrell do an excellent job of articulating how those differences affect marriages in their unique treatment of the subject called, Men Are Like Waffles: Women Are Like Spaghetti.

The also have some good ideas for decision-making.

You might want to check out their work:

The 10 Best Decisions A Couple Can Make

“What are the 10 Best Decisions a Couple can Make to Build the love of their dreams? If you could remodel your marriage, what would you want it to look like? In this tool chest of relationship building skills, Pam & Bill will help you discover the untapped potential in your marriage – and provide you with the inspiration and expert advice you need to strengthen, protect, and re-charge your marriage. Whether your marriage needs an extreme makeover or you simply want to add a few finishing touches, you’ll find the right tools for the job in 10 Best Decisions a Couple Can Make. Small group and couple discussion questions as well as Mentoring Moments included. (formerly Every Marriage is a Fixer Upper).” (From their website,

The book is available through Harvest House Publishers.

If you would like to pick up more skills on understanding each other, getting along, and overcome differences in marriage, you could find quite a bit about that in The LOVING Way to a Successful Marriage: Six Keys to Marital Bliss.

Community Education Courses at Morthland College

Click Here for a PDF file of the Morthland College Spring 2012 Community Education Courses Taught by Dr. Randy Carney

(If your computer hangs up after clicking the pdf link above, just erase the words after “” in the address bar and refresh the page.)

This is information about three community education courses that will be taught at Morthland College in March and May. Two of them are about book publishing, which is slightly off-topic for this website. Still, some of you, or someone you know, might be interested. The third one is the One-Day Couples-Enrichment Seminar. You can also find out about it in the post right below this one.

Here is some from the Morthland brochure:

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Though it is not mentioned in this brochure, we have a special treat in that Rhonda will be joining me in presenting the couples-enrichment seminar.

It would be my great privilege to be with you during any or all of these courses.

Please pass the word along.

Marriage Seminar at Morthland College

It would be great to meet you.

As usual, we plan to have a fun time as we look at some serious topics.

Please register quickly as the room may fill up soon. It it will be necessary to get a larger one, we will need to know in advance.

Click here to see what others have said about similar events.

If you would like to book Randy (and occasionally Rhonda) for a couples-enrichment seminar at your church or organization, click on the Request Randy page and fill out the form. If you would prefer, you may email Randy at, and you may also leave a voice mail at our Magic Jack phone number: (217) 960-0432.

When you email, it helps if you put the word, “speaking” in the subject line.

If you know someone who would be interested in the seminar at Morthland, please pass the word along. (You can also find out more about Morthland College at

Dare to Care Interview

Today, I was interviewed by Kent Mattox and Cris Corzine on the weekly radio program of Caring Counseling Ministries in Marion, IL.
Caring Counseling Ministries

Christian Counseling for Southern Illinois

Caring Counseling Ministries performs a wonderful service by proving Christian Counseling for those in need in the Southern Illinois area.
Caring Counseling Ministries Header
I encourage you to check out their website at
During the interview, I gave a history of my background in ministry and Christian Education, and we talked about my current involvement with Morthland College. The bulk of the interview dealt with my book: The LOVING Way to a Successful Marriage: Six Keys to Marital Bliss. We had some fun in our discussion and we covered a smattering of the concepts presented in each of the six parts of the book.
My hosts were very gracious, and I think we all had a good time during our discussion.
If you have Windows Media Player (or something that will play a .WMA file) you will probably be able to listen to the program at the following link:
Dare to Care Interview

Cincopa WordPress plugin

(The file is large and takes a while to buffer. After several seconds I clicked on the gray progress bar-backing up slightly and it began to play. Please try it and wait even a minute or two. Well, the next time I tried it, it started right away. The first few comments were between programs, so the interview is actually there after a minute or two. Maybe I can tweak some more later. You may have to turn your speakers up a little; however, using headphones worked well for me.)
Bless you, and, anyway, I had a good time during the interview. (Their program usually airs on Friday afternoon from 2:00 to 2:30 on WGGH AM 1150 in Marion, IL.)

Dr. James Dobson at Family Talk

I heard Dr. James Dobson on the radio the other day, and he mentioned that many people have difficulty finding him these days. Actually, it comes from the confusion that results from the fact that he is no longer with Focus on the Family.

Dr. Dobson has helped many people through the years, and one of his books is mentioned on this website. Focus on the Family has provided wonderful resources over the years. Family Talk is the name of the new radio program where Dr. Dobson is now located. It continues to provide help for families in the same way that Dr. Dobson has done through previous years.

So, now there are two ministries that provide great help for families. The focus of this post, however, is to alert people to the fact that they are not finding Dr. Dobson by going to the Focus on the Family website or by listening to radio programs by that name.

If you want to connect with Dr. Dobson, make sure you connect with Family Talk.

Actually, I think they have already taken steps to correct this. If you want to find a website for Family Talk, you will actually find it under Dr. Dobson’s name at

Anyway, if you want to find Dr. James Dobson’s present ministry, make sure you are finding Family Talk

Jack Canfield and The Success Principles

Chicken Soup for the Soul–Who has not heard of that? Jack Canfield and Mark Victor Hansen started a wonderful series of encouraging and positive books, and that series has encouraged millions of people around the world.

In addition to that, Jack has written The Success Principles: Getting from Where You Are to Where You Want to Be! It

The Success Principles

Jack Canfield and The Success Principles

looks to be a powerful book filled with 64 success principles.

This website is about successful marriage, so of course I am interested in success principles, especially as to how they can be applied to marriage.

Here are some intriguing benefits that can be received by applying the principles in Mr. Canfield’s book:

  • How to change the outcome of any event, simply by changing your response to it
  • How to complete past projects, heal past relationships and process old hurts, so you can embrace the future
  • How to say “no” to the good, so you’ll have room in your life to say “yes” to the great
  • Why you should drop out of the “Ain’t It Awful” Club and instead surround yourself with success, positive and nurturing people.

I noticed how those four principles could benefit any marriage.

“How to change the outcome of any event, simply by changing your response to it” is something I would like to look into from his perspective. In our marriage seminars, we talk about how to break a “crazy cycle”, in part using some ideas from Emerson Eggerichs.

“How to complete past projects, heal past relationships and process old hurts, so you can embrace the future” is another important principle. in the book, The LOVING Way to a Successful Marriage: Six Keys to Marital Bliss, I talk

The LOVING Way to a Successful Marriage

The LOVING Way to a Successful Marriage

about the importance of the principle of “leaving” in which I talk about the importance of leaving behind past relationships and getting rid of “baggage” we bring with us into the marriage relationship.

“How to say ‘no’ to the good, so you’ll have room in your life to say ‘yes’ to the great” is a great principle. I have often said that the “good” is often the worst enemy of the “best.” It is easy to see that it is a good choice to choose the good over the bad; however, it is often less easy to see that we miss out on the best when simply settle for the good. We want to have marriages that thrive instead of those that just survive.

Speaking of choosing the best, one of the most popular and entertaining sessions of our marriage seminars is “Don’t Just Be in the Marriage Game. Go for the Championship!”

“Why you should drop out of the ‘Ain’t It Awful’ Club and instead surround yourself with success, positive and nurturing people” certainly sounds like good advice. That could help many marriages too.

Of course, I especially look for principles that are not contrary to the principles of the Bible. I do not think we create reality with our words, but if we set goals and follow through with action, we can certainly see great measures of success.

If you are interested in success in general, you might want to check out Mr. Canfield’s book. If you are looking for principles for a successful marriage in particular, you may find it very helpful to browse around on this site for a while.

Listen to Another Message at First Free Will Baptist in Johnston City, IL

I see the last link worked, but it did not take you to the page where you could click on “previous.”

First Free Will Baptist Church Johnston City, IL

First Free Will Baptist Church, Johnston City, IL

Click here for the link to the first message preached on those two Sundays.

Bro. Keith Fletcher and the congregation would love to have you come by and visit. If you need a ride, click around on the links at the top of the page when you get to their website, and find information about their transportation ministry.

While I regularly teach class at Morthland College on Tuesdays and Thursdays, you can contact me for information about speaking availabiity.

I can still conduct marriage seminars on most weekends, and if you are local to Southern Illinois, you might be able to schedule one where Rhonda and I both can be present. The ladies especially enjoy Rhonda’s sessions.

First Free Will Baptist Church in Johnston City, IL

Rhonda and I enjoyed being invited to speak at First Free Will Baptist Church in Johnston Cit, IL, recently.

Johntson City Free Will Baptist Church

Click Here to hear one of the messages. I think you can also click on “previous” to hear another one. I think the link will stay active for a while.

We appreciate the ministry of Keith and Sarah Fletcher very much.

If you are in the area, you might want to visit them.

Catching up with a Friend

It is always good to catch up with old friends, isn’t it.

I just talked with Bruce Droit, a friend all the way back to childhood.

Arnett's Country Store

How does this relate to this website? I guess the best answer is that you want your mate to be your best friend. Friends in general remind you of that.

Bruce and his wife Stacy run Arnett’s Country Store south of West Frankfort, IL. If you would like to check out their website you could go to They have many wonderful craft and decorative items that you might like to look at.

How does that relate to marriage? You want your marriage to be a thing of beauty, don’t you?

Check out The LOVING Way to a Successful Marriage if you would like to make your marriage more beautiful than it already is, and while you are at it, you might want to mosey over to Bruce and Stacee’s website too.

Six Fun Ways to Build a Solid Marriage

The upcoming course at Morthland College, Making Your Marriage Sizzle–God’s Way, and the book, The LOVING Way to a Successful Marriage, as well as the most recent marriage seminars at churches all have one thing in

Couple Laughing

Have a Fun Marriage!

common. They describe the six keys to marital bliss that build a solid marriage.

The seminars include many fun activities, and the the principles for a solid marriage remove many of the hindrances to a fun marriage.

See the posts below this one to find out more information about signing up for the six-session seminar put on by Morthland College. (Also, look for the info how to get two for the price of one.)

Click Here for the Post about the Class.

You can also check out Morthland’s website at

Clicking Here will take you to the Registration form.